Saturday, July 17, 2004
Wife gone for the night
Regressing fast. Typing with my feet while I eat a banana. Watched "Apocalypse Now Redux" and "Outlaw Josey Wales" twice already. Fight Club one and a half. Three espressos and the locals are chanting and bringing me barrels of fermented berry juice to get me wasted. Tiny little women dance for me - can't fool me, they're rooting for Mothra. I wake up every half hour or so with new rhino tranquilizer darts hanging off me and the fire department sprays me down with water hoses every hour on the hour. Luckily I can't make any more espresso as I have no understanding of what you call "fire." Opposable thumb vanished about an hour ago. Probably a good thing, it does nothing but get me into trouble anyways. Other evolutionary glitches - knees really weren't made to support bipeds over six feet tall. See someone different than me, must hit with stick, must hit with stick! Throw poo! Funny! That my new closing bit! Poo throwing bit kill on the road!
Actual Conversation from College
When I was in college, the department chairman stopped me in the hallway and said "Oh Jeff, glad I ran into you, I wanted to tell you something. I used to do a lot of drugs in the sixties and consequently my mind can be a little leaky sometimes. Things leak in and things leak out and there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it. But sometimes in all this leaking, things bump into each other and I make little connections - they're like these little sparks as things come together. Little flashes of light ... and you know that girl you like? Kristen? Yeah, she doesn't like you."
Artists Way question
Does renting a porno count as an "artist date?"
To be fair, I primarily write porno.
To be fair, I primarily write porno.
Evidently ...
THREE is too many espressos.
Homeland Security Threat Advisory
I wish they'd drop it back one. I'm a "winter" and I look better when it's green or blue.
Celebrity Poke Her
OK, here we go. The game is this: Celebrities we are embarassed to admit we might sleep with if given the opportunity. Go!
Coffee
A girl had just broken up with me and I was pretty devastated. I told a friend about it and he said "Hey so you're broken up now, but hey, she's in New York, you're in New York. You're bound to run into her eventually and you'll go out for coffee and to talk about old times and you won't get back together - but at least you'll be drinking coffee." It's true, coffee will never break up with me.
I wiped out!
Again! I got up to answer the phone, stumbled into a piece of furniture and did an extended header right over it and landed all the way on the other side of the room! Did my elbo and knee pretty good. Really rang my bell. Bills still coming due on it too. Tomorrow will be unpleasant.
Friday, July 16, 2004
Could happen to anyone
I thought he said "Kill the infidel."
Turns out.
He said
"Chill the Zinfandel."
Turns out.
He said
"Chill the Zinfandel."
Tails and Freud
My cat was purring and rubbing her face against mine. All happy stuff but she was also demonstrating "conflicted tail." Her tail was getting wippy and demonstrated that she was losing patience with the scenario. So I left her alone before she got cranky and hissy. I was able to witness feelings bubbling up from her subconcious before she was even aware of them. She was still purring.
THEREFORE
The entire Freudian edifice of the "subconscious mind" and all of the field of modern psychology is merely a glitch in the evolutionary chain from losing our tails. Yes psychology replaced the tail
THEREFORE
The entire Freudian edifice of the "subconscious mind" and all of the field of modern psychology is merely a glitch in the evolutionary chain from losing our tails. Yes psychology replaced the tail
New Tenant
The new girl across the way has a boyfriend and the boyfriend spent the day - get this - producing a hip hop song! I'll bet they forgot to mention that on the rental application.
