Friday, December 29, 2006
Ah relief!
One -- that infernal christmas "music" finally stopped
Two -- I'm proposing a new guideline at work for my fellow employees and me --
Bitching only in even numbered hours
We have a lot to bitch about.
But I just can't take it any more.
I'm hoping for a full vote on this when everyone is back and I would love to come into 2007 knowing at least half of every shift will be completely devoid of pissing and moaning.
Don't get me wrong. It was the sound of my own voice that drove me the craziest.
I realized I genuinely had nothing new to offer on any of the topics AND the likelihood of any of them improving is virtually nil.
So stay or go. That's the choice. And if it's stay, then it is what it is.
I've sometimes fallen into the delusion that the law of karma applies to *almost* everyone. When I see people putting pungent badness into the world and *seemingly* not getting any of it back on them, I start to get panicky and afraid and fall into an additional delusion that *I'm* the one that has to do something about it.
And then, after some time, I see the inevitable blow up in their face and I feel embarassed for having gotten so worked up over it.
There was a woman I worked with who was so pathologically nasty that when she walked in the room, it felt like the temperature dropped. A cloud of nausea and awfulness seemed to travel along with her.
But then, I noticed that every now and again, she'd come in here and take a big ol'd nasty psychological dump on us and skitter out the room and I would not only not get upset, I'd find it downright hilarious. The difference was not in her but me.
My feeling was that on those days I simply was not on her frequency. Worse that means all that time I was upset by her, it mean I was ON her frequency.
I'm a fairly decent knife fighter but I don't carry one because the idea of using one for self defense is too intimate. I don't want to be covered in someone elses blood and fluids. Also cops tend to notice that sort of thing.
Well it's the same way with getting into a vibe of really hating someone. You end up covered in their stuff. Really hating someone is too intimate. You end up thinking about them way too much. You do that when you're in love too. When you think about someone a whole lot, you end up putting out all these psycho-para-physical tendrils to them and you end up getting a huge dose of them.
I'm not at all saying I'm never going to get upset at or bitch at anyone any more, no this is not a new age daisies kind of world but I am saying that I'm going to try to be real selective of who I wrap my tendrils around.
Speaking of which, FOUR people have asked me in the past three days if anyone heard anything about Chucklehead.
I think there's a reason.
I think he's dead.
On the one hand ... DUH!
On the other, the building feels different. It doesn't feel like there's a really crazy, drugged out psychopath obsessively thinking evil thoughts about us anymore.
The tendrils are gone.
I know that sounds a little new agey and flaky and stuff.
It's just true.
Two -- I'm proposing a new guideline at work for my fellow employees and me --
Bitching only in even numbered hours
We have a lot to bitch about.
But I just can't take it any more.
I'm hoping for a full vote on this when everyone is back and I would love to come into 2007 knowing at least half of every shift will be completely devoid of pissing and moaning.
Don't get me wrong. It was the sound of my own voice that drove me the craziest.
I realized I genuinely had nothing new to offer on any of the topics AND the likelihood of any of them improving is virtually nil.
So stay or go. That's the choice. And if it's stay, then it is what it is.
I've sometimes fallen into the delusion that the law of karma applies to *almost* everyone. When I see people putting pungent badness into the world and *seemingly* not getting any of it back on them, I start to get panicky and afraid and fall into an additional delusion that *I'm* the one that has to do something about it.
And then, after some time, I see the inevitable blow up in their face and I feel embarassed for having gotten so worked up over it.
There was a woman I worked with who was so pathologically nasty that when she walked in the room, it felt like the temperature dropped. A cloud of nausea and awfulness seemed to travel along with her.
But then, I noticed that every now and again, she'd come in here and take a big ol'd nasty psychological dump on us and skitter out the room and I would not only not get upset, I'd find it downright hilarious. The difference was not in her but me.
My feeling was that on those days I simply was not on her frequency. Worse that means all that time I was upset by her, it mean I was ON her frequency.
I'm a fairly decent knife fighter but I don't carry one because the idea of using one for self defense is too intimate. I don't want to be covered in someone elses blood and fluids. Also cops tend to notice that sort of thing.
Well it's the same way with getting into a vibe of really hating someone. You end up covered in their stuff. Really hating someone is too intimate. You end up thinking about them way too much. You do that when you're in love too. When you think about someone a whole lot, you end up putting out all these psycho-para-physical tendrils to them and you end up getting a huge dose of them.
I'm not at all saying I'm never going to get upset at or bitch at anyone any more, no this is not a new age daisies kind of world but I am saying that I'm going to try to be real selective of who I wrap my tendrils around.
Speaking of which, FOUR people have asked me in the past three days if anyone heard anything about Chucklehead.
I think there's a reason.
I think he's dead.
On the one hand ... DUH!
On the other, the building feels different. It doesn't feel like there's a really crazy, drugged out psychopath obsessively thinking evil thoughts about us anymore.
The tendrils are gone.
I know that sounds a little new agey and flaky and stuff.
It's just true.
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All the lines of "Bitching only in even numbered hours" I propose making Christmas every four years just like the Olympics (the real olympics being the Summer Olympics). I'm tired of being "tempted out" by the government as a consumer spending index and I'm tired of getting mail order catelogs from LL Bean.
1) I wish the tune for "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" weren't so damn catchy. That ditty is in my head YEAR ROUND. I kid you not.
2) I totally hear you on the tendrils thing. There was a guy I hated so badly at my last job that I would often imagine a meteor crushing his home, with him in it. Then I realized that picturing him and thinking about him in my off-work hours was more disgusting than actaully dealing with him in person.
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2) I totally hear you on the tendrils thing. There was a guy I hated so badly at my last job that I would often imagine a meteor crushing his home, with him in it. Then I realized that picturing him and thinking about him in my off-work hours was more disgusting than actaully dealing with him in person.
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