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... Karen just called and this is what she's heard from the landlord via Sue ...

... the sheriff's department arrived and formally evicted him ... they took his keys and gave them to the landlord ...

... Chucklehead moved a bunch of crap out onto the front stoop and was sitting out there ... his plan was to move his stuff into his car and then call triple-A and have them tow it ...

... tow it where I don't know ... this plan is as rational as any of his other plans ... and he hasn't made payments on the car in months, we're surprised the repo man hasn't gotten it by now ...

... so as it stands, he's either on the front stoop or down in the car port with piles of shit-soaked shit, but point being he's on the OTHER side of a locked door. I doubt very much that triple-A can or will do much for him ... we heard social services would be here when he was served the eviction notice but so far no sign of them ... I have a hunch he's going to be buzzing Sue and/or standing under our window and calling up to Karen with some request or another ... probably to use the bathroom ... that's his MO -- ask for something simple, then it's on to money and other requests ... in fact [pause] I just called to Karen to talk that over with her and she assured me that she will not, under any circumstances let him in the building, much less our apartment ... she says she and Sue just walked the dog and his car is full of crap but they saw no sign of him, figuring he's either gone, hiding behind his car or in the garden on the side of the building ...

... but maybe, just maybe, it's starting to be really over, maybe the women in this building can move about freely, even using the front entrance without fear and perhaps this weekend we can actually get out of our hot apartments and sit by the pool for the first time this year ...

... oh and the landlord saw the inside of the apartment for the first time and no longer has the notion that he's going to send in his employees to clean the place, he says he will get professionals ...

As far as we understand it, the sheriff's department is coming to officially evict Chucklehead today. You'll recall that he was gone for good the other day? Well he came back last night and holed up in "his" apartment. This morning Sue went over and banged on the door and told him the deputies will be here today and it he should be gone when they arrive. He did his crybaby routine and said his friend had packed up all the wrong stuff. Sue's unspoken comment "You wanted her to take the garbage and leave the furniture?" He asked if he could store some of his stuff in the laundry room and she said "No, after today you will have no legal right to be anywhere in this building."

I suggested that Karen be elsewhere when all this is going down. She was way ahead of me on that. If, in fact, today the eviction is officially served, then at least if we see him again we can call the sheriff's department. Karen was ahead of me on that too, she said if she sees him, she won't even talk to him, but just go in the apartment and call the deputies.

The landlord asked the other day "do we really need to hire professionals to clean the place after he's gone?" Sue said "He's got AIDS and Hepatitis and the place is full of diarrhea."

It might be an interesting day. So interesting I want nothing to do with it ... I still don't get my hopes up. As far as I'm concerned, he's not gone "until I can gnaw on his skull with my very own teeth." Not that I would. He's got Hepatitis and I'm a vegetarian. They really haven't come up with a decent soy skull yet.

He had moving people in yesterday and they moved most of his stuff out. He's under the impression he's being evicted today which may or may not be accurate.

He told Sue the moving guys screwed him over and didn't move all his stuff. He probably didn't pack anything so they probably moved just the furniture. Or they refused to touch any of the stuff that's been incubating in diarrhea.

Then I guess he called 911 and had the paramedics take him to the hospital. Karen's theory: he wanted a dramatic exit (he usually calls a cab). I didn't even notice. Funny, usually I notice the presence of the fire department in my building.

So once again, he seems to be gone but I'm not getting my hopes up.

He turns on the waterworks when he wants something but they dry up the second he realizes he's not gonna get whatever he's after. I continue to feel bad for him, but he's put the entire building at risk. The whole time he was w/o power we were terrified he was going to burn the place down. The apartments around him all have roach problems now. That whole side of the building stinks. Last week he threw up a prodigious amount of ungodly chemicals and medicines and bile in front of Sue's door. He is a biohazard and a hazmat situation.

He wails about how he's all alone and no one will help.

Fact is he had all kinds of friends, family, healthcare and social services people around to help and he drove them all away by being such a nasty prick. And now he wants the neighbors, who he's been just as nasty to, to help him.

Fuck him.

I continue to have nagging thoughts that if I were a better person maybe I'd find a way to help him. But Karen has a point when she says that any help we give him furthers his illusion that he can live on his own which he can't and keeps him from being someplace where he can get help.

... so yeah I feel guilty for not opening my doors to a psychotic diarrhea-soaked asshole.

As Sue says, some people don't die well.

A couple weeks ago, my doctor, who is also Karen's doctor asked after her and I said she's a little stressed cuz of this neighbor. I gave her the thumbnail sketch and my doctor, who specializes in these kinds of patients, suggested we get a gun.

I looked into it and decided against it. Then I figured pepper spray would probably calm him right down but I hesitated cuz I figured by the time it arrived, he'd be dead. Well fuggit, I ordered it. I ordered two - one for Karen and one for Sue. Cute little OC squeezers that go on a keychain. I knew they'd arrive just in time to be useless so I ordered them just to make sure he'd actually go.

We wanted to have a party to celebrate Sue getting tenure, and another for me finishing EMT school. We want to have "Poolside Cinema" where we sit by the pool and watch movies projected up on the wall. But we don't even hang out by the pool while he's waddling around screeching and stuff.

I feel terrible pity for him AND I hate his fucking guts.

Even after his formal eviction I think we'll still see him around. I think he's going to continue to walk out of / break out of various facilities because when he's in them he can't get meth. Our landlord is going on vacation soon and won't have it together to change the locks so I'm sure he'll come back, maybe sleep in the basement and do bathroom things in the sink down there. At that point we can call the sheriff's department and they can actually apply a little handcuff therapy.

I feel like this will never end and yet I also know that one day, very anticlimactically, we'll just hear or see that he is dead and it's over.

And when that day comes I'll raise a glass to him and wish him well wherever he goes. He's a nuisance and a menace and I'm really looking forward to him dropping dead , but I do hope he does better next time around. So long, don't let the cosmic portal hit you on the ass on the way out, shit head.

I removed everything from my office on wednesday cuz I figured I was going to quit, be fired, or commit a major felony on the premises and be shot by police.

I sit in the corner and I had some miniature Tibetan prayer flags from one wall to the other and that space felt really empty.

So I took a string of rubber bands tied together that my coworker had crafted and strung them across the corner.

My original intention was that it would serve as a crude measure of the room's ambient barometric pressure -- that the string of rubber bands would slacken and tighten as the atmospheric pressure changed as the weather changed. I neglected to factor in that weather in Los Angeles does not change. Also I remembered there is a device that does this already, it's called a barometer and it is considerably more accurate for measuring barometric than a string of rubber bands.

So now I am using it as a Gravitational Wave Detector.

Traditionally a Gravitational Wave Detector is a set of two intersecting vacuum tubes with lasers and interferometers that record the tiniest, microscopic variances and anomalies in the gravitational field. They are so subtle they can detect trucks rumbling along the interstate dozens of miles away and can differentiate between those vibrations and an actually wave along the gravitational field.

My string of rubber bands thumbtacked to two walls in the corner of my office is considerably less subtle in its detection power.





If the earth were to plummet into a black hole in a cosmic cataclysm that crushed the entire mass of the earth into a microscopic singularity, I believe I MIGHT, during that process, be able to detect some changes in my string of rubber bands.

I will let you know.

I guess ding dong was on quite a tear yesterday. He was pounding on everybody's doors demanding money. He threatened to kill their dogs. The Sheriff's department was out I gather. I guess the soothing presence of men with guns had again calmed him down.

He was nowhere to be seen by the time I got home.

Too bad.

I would love to have discussed it with him.

He's awful brave when yelling at women by themselves or at small animals. I'm looking forward to seeing if he has any such notions he'd like to share with me.

Scaring women and threatening animals ... yes ... these are things I'd like to discuss with him at length.